Should A Aspiring Content Creator Friend Stop Exploiting Me for Content?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?